37 Weeks

I am 37 weeks pregnant today! Only about 2 more weeks to go and maybe even less. It is a relief that I am officially full term now! I weighed in at 160 lbs. again. We will have to see on Thursday if this holds true at my doctor's appointment. Well, I have to say I am getting to the point of being really miserable. It is so hard to move around and find a comfortable position. I can not hardly sleep at all anymore, so then I am so tired during the day. This makes it really hard to keep up with a one year old and a four year old. I have made quite a bit of progress on my lists the last few days though. I made two photobooks last night and this morning and I am hoping to make at least one more today. I have all of the laundry caught up and put away. I took a ton of things to have embroidered to my lady that does my embroidering and I should have them back in about a week. I am all packed for the hospital. Jason got the garage all cleaned out and organized. I got most of Christian's spring and summer clothes bought and put away. I still have to organize his 4t clothes that he has grown out of. That is on my list for today also. Martha came over yesterday and helped deep clean the basement so that is finished other than possibly shampooing the carpets. I have St.Patrick's day outfits bought and all their Easter outfits bought also. I still need to get myself an Easter outfit, but I am going to have to wait until after I have Lucas just to see how things will fit and what the weather might be like. I still need to get the boys their Easter presents and I need to pick up a birthday present for my nephew Kyle and a baby shower present for my friend Kerri. I am hoping to do those things this week. Mom and dad gave me Lucas' going home outfit on Sunday and it is so cute. I already have it washed and packed. I packed up all my pictures on my computer to my hard drive and I made our Winter 2012 DVD of our videos. I don't know why but no matter how much stuff I get done I still feel so stressed and overwhelmed. It's like I just can't get a grip. I am so terrified of how hard this is all going to be. I am so worried that I will not be able to give them all enough attention. I feel like I am spread so thin now. I think I just really need to make it a priority to spend as much one on one time as I can with each of them. I have a feeling that blogging and other extra things like that might get left behind for a while. It makes me sad to think about, but right now I have to put raising my kids first and my needs/wants second. I am hoping that it won't come to this but I have a feeling things might be to crazy and it might be impossible to get a schedule down. I think one thing that causes me to stress so much is when the house is out of order. I don't know why, because we never had an orderly house when I was growing up, but when there are toys out and things are not picked up I feel stressed and panicked, but as soon as everything is put away I feel so much better. Right now it is so hard for me to bend over and pick things up and put them away. I am hoping that after Lucas is here I will either not care about the mess or I will at least be able to clean it up easier. I feel like I work so hard to get the house looking orderly and nice and then ten minutes after I am done it is completely destroyed. Then I wonder why did I even waste my time. Christian is a big help in a lot of ways and he does a great job most of the time helping to pick up toys even if he doesn't always get them out. I think it might be time for an allowance/reward system with him when he helps around the house. His behavior is so back and forth right now. He is either so sweet and wonderful and the best little boy ever or he is a holy terror and tries to act like Jax. He has even started to talk baby talk and whine and cry like Jax does. I can not take this kind of behavior. Whining and crying just drives me insane more than anything. I can tolerate it in a one year old but once they get to be around three or four I no longer have the patience for it. Jason and I both have been trying to show Christian some special attention lately and have been trying to do things with him that only he can do since he is a big boy. He loves that, but he still wants the same attention Jax gets. It is exhausting! I want so badly to be able to enjoy this time with all of my boys because it goes by so fast, but I just can't get a grip. I just feel so stressed and overwhelmed. I think it is the fear of the unknown. I know I was so stressed before I had Jax and having him ended up being so much easier than I ever thought possible. Other than being pregnant the last half of Jax's first year things were awesome and could not have gone better. I really hope that I am overreacting right now and things will end up better than I imagine. Well, on a more positive note, this past Saturday we made a quick shopping trip to Edinburgh and that was kind of a stress reliever to just get away from everything. It was funny because I never gave a second thought to being almost 3 hours away from home and being this close to labor until we got there. Jason said something about maybe this wasn't the smartest thing for us to do given that I was going to be walking all day and that I am already dilated 2 cm and 50% thinned. We made it through and it was great to get away with the boys just for the day. We did way more shopping than I imagined we would do also. I kind of though we would just get a few things for Christian to get him through spring since he had outgrown most of his clothes. While we were shopping Jason kept making trips to the car to put the bags up so we wouldn't have to carry them. About half way through our shopping spree he looks at me and says, 'you will die when you see the back of the van! It is almost full!' I knew I wouldn't be as shocked as him because I am used to shopping trips like this. I have to say though when we finished shopping and I got in the car and turned around I was a little shocked. The van looked like it does when I go with Alisann and John and this was just our stuff! The good thing is that Christian is pretty much set for Spring and Summer and so is Jax and Lucas. That is kind of a relief for me. Alisann and I are going on our shopping trip in June this year, so I can pick up anything else they might need then. Back to my pregnancy.... I had to take off my wedding ring on Sunday because it was starting to get a little tight. I hate having to do this and I can't wait to be able to put it back on. My heartburn is really bad now. I have to take my prescription medicine and a pepcid ac before going to bed and that still doesn't always help. I am wearing all maternity clothes now. I can still wear my regular pants and some longer regular shirts but Lucas is so low that it is more comfortable for me to wear maternity pants this time. I haven't noticed hardly any swelling this time except for my hands every now and then. I have been craving cherry pie and vanilla ice cream lately. Mom and Dad made meatloaf and mashed potatoes for me on Sunday. I told them it felt like I was on death row and this was my last meal. They thought that was pretty funny. They said that they are going to make my other favorite meal this Sunday which is Chicken Divan. I am feeling just a tad spoiled! I still have been eating cereal for breakfast every morning. I have to say I am so ready for few drinks. I have had a glass of wine or a beer every once in a while, but it is not the same and it is impossible to enjoy it as much! My back has been really sore lately, but I know that is just part of it at this point. I am still walking as much as I can at tristate during the week. I decided to not do anymore group power classes until after Lucas is here. I go to the doctor in a couple of days and that is when we will decide on the final outcome of what we are going to do. Jason and I decided that if Dr. Leinenbach still wants to do this this way, then I will have my membranes stripped on Friday after I get off work and then we will wait for my water to break and go in on my own then. Dr. Leinenbach said that being that this is my third baby I will be back in the hospital within 24 hours, so I will most likely have a St. Patrick's Day baby! I will know more for sure on Thursday when I talk to her again though!