6 Weeks

I am 6 weeks pregnant today! I weighed in at 123 lbs. I have started feeling nauseous in the morning when I wake up and my stomach is empty. Once I eat something though I feel much better. I haven't been craving anything yet and I am starting to get to the point where nothing sounds good. I have been more tired in the evenings also. I think some of that has to do with the holidays and the craziness of that! I have also been so bloated and gassy lately which is no fun. My boobs have been just a little bit tender, but not too bad. My face has cleared up from my little break out last week and it seems to be back to normal. If I had to guess what I am having right now I am starting to think it's a boy. I am feeling pretty much like I have with my other pregnancies and they were boys. Strong smells are starting to bother me a little and it is ridiculous how strong my sense of smell has become. I can smell every little thing so strong! I am looking forward to my doctor appointment on the 9th. I am hoping that they do an ultrasound just so I can relax and know that things are looking okay and also to see when my due date is. I can't help but worry sick every first trimester now since my miscarriage. I have been getting motivated to get things organized around here and get things cleaned out! I think my nesting is starting way early! I feel like we have so much to do before the baby comes and not nearly enough time! I am so excited to be having another baby and I am really looking forward to holding and loving on this sweet baby of ours! We have started talking about some names. We of course can't agree on anything for sure yet. I am thinking if it is a boy we will use Wallace or Verlin for a middle name after Jason's Grandpa. I really wanted to use Gail for a middle name no matter if it is a boy or a girl but Jason is not going for that if it is a boy. We have no clue on a first name for a boy. I like Michael a lot but of course jason does not. My main stipulation on a boys name is that is after a TV show that we watch. We have named all our other boys after TV shows that we watch and I want to continue that. For a girl the name that we agree on right now is Elise Gail June Pickerill. The name that I would really rather use is Junelise Gail Pickerill and call her Elise. Either way she will be named after my Grandma Folz and Jason's Grandma Pickerill (June) and my mom and Jason's aunt Susan (Gail). The name Elise isn't after anybody it is just a name we both really like and think is pretty. We really can't hardly talk about a boys name without one of us getting frustrated with the other. Jason is thinking he wants to wait to tell anybody what the name is until we have the baby but I am not a fan of that idea. It will be too hard and I need my sisters opinions on too many things that they would have to know!

5 Weeks

I am 5 weeks pregnant today and I am weighing in at 123 lbs. I am really hoping to only gain about 20-25 ponds this pregnancy. I am sure that will not happen, but that is my goal! I don't have too many symptoms just yet. Smells are definitely stronger, but they haven't started bothering me yet. My face is starting to break out on my chin and I never break out. I have been a little bit tired lately, but I think that could be because of the time of year and how much more I have to work right now! I have felt just a tad bit nauseous but I'm not sure if that is just in my head because I am just expecting to feel that way soon. I also have had a touch of heartburn. Nothing bad at all, but after I ate lasagna for lunch today I felt a slight burn in my chest. I have been really gassy and bloated lately and that is no fun. I am so worried that I am not going to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I should and all I can think about is how this could be my last one and I don't think I am quite ready to say that this is our last one. I really want the option for a fifth one if that is what we feel is best for our family. We have no names picked out right now for this baby. We can't agree on anything for a boy or a girl. We probably won't talk much about it until we know what we are having. We should get to find out at the end of March. Neither one of us care either way if it is a boy or a girl. Part of me hopes for a boy because then I think I might have more of a chance for baby #5, but then part of me hopes for a girl, so that we can experience having a daughter. If we do have a girl I will want to try for #5 for sure so she could possibly have a sister. I can't imagine her having to go through life without a sister. I think what would make life perfect is too have twin girls this time. I really don't think that will happen and I;m not quite sure we could survive that, but it would solve a few of our dilemmas. I think if we do have a girl part of me will be sad to not ever have a boy again. I love my boys so much and have had so much fun with them! I also feel like I don't even know what to do with a girl anymore. I think we could figure it out! WHatever is meant to be will be! RIght now going off of the monthly test thing that has been right with all three of my boys I am having a girl. We will just have to wait and see! I am hoping to find the time to do weekly updates throughout this pregnancy like I did with Jax and Lucas. I also need to get in the routine of my weekly pictures. I am just so excited to have another baby and can't wait to meet this special little baby!

It Is Positive

Well, this afternoon, after Jason left home from his lunch break, I decided to go ahead and take a pregnancy test. I really did not think it would be positive at all. I was going to wait until Tuesday to see if I started my period then, but then I was afraid that I would have my hopes up if I didn't start and then it still be negative. I figured if I am pregnant it will show up positive and if I am not then I will be prepared to start my period soon. This past month Jason and I really did not try very much at all. We only did it one time around the time I was ovulating but to be honest I felt  like we did it a couple days before I actually ovulated, so I figured we had missed our window of opportunity. I told myself though last month she I started my period that I was leaving it up to God and whatever is best for our family will happen. I didn't want to track and try and plan, but I also did not want to 'pull & pray' either. We decided to just 'do it' when we wanted to and see what happens. That was our plan for these next 2 months and then we could go back to trying hard again. Well, wouldn't you know that the month we don't really try s the month that I get pregnant! This is how it has always worked out for me! Needless to say when I peed on that pregnancy test and it turned a dark positive immediately I was really shocked. I was happy and excited of course but also a little nervous about the timing and of course I always worry about the chance of a miscarriage. I immediately started planning things in my head and making lists of things we need to do around the house and working on a new budget for 2014. I am also a little worried to tell jason since this was not his ideal time to have a baby. I hope he is happy and excited and not too stressed!

Started Again

Well, I started my period again today. I really have no idea how I did not get pregnant this last month. We had sex every other day all around the time when I was ovulating. We did it the week before and the week after every other day and I am still not pregnant. I really hate this whole trying thing! It totally takes the fun out of everything. I really wish we could just do it whenever we felt like it and if I get pregnant then perfect, but then I am afraid that I will never end up pregnant and I won't be able to get any help from my doctor because that wouldn't be considered really trying. I have no idea what we will do this next month because if I get pregnant this next month that makes me due August 21st which puts me having the baby around August 14th. This is Jason's busiest time of year at work. I am really busy at work also, plus I will have Christian starting 1st grade and Jax starting Preschool. I really don't want to miss out on any of these important events with the boys and I don't want to be stressed with this baby in case it is my last one. I want to be able to spend every moment I can undistracted with my little newborn. I also know though that God knows what is best and he will do what is best for our family and I just really need to trust that he will do what is right for us.

Stressed & Worried

Well I started my period on Friday, October 11. I am so stressed and worried about everything thing. I am even more anxious and ready to have baby number 4 now, but I am thinking that Jason and I are not on the same page anymore. Jason has recently found out that he is going on an Elk hunt next September and I recently found out that my brother John is engaged and is getting married on July 5th next summer. If we try and I get pregnant this next month I will be due July 18th and I usually go early, so that puts me due right around the time of John's wedding and I am not too concerned other than the fact that I will be huge in all of the pictures and he is getting married in Louisville which isn't too far away but if I would go into labor it does make me nervous to gone almost 2 hours from my doctor. Jason is now saying that he wants to wait a couple of months on trying because he doesn't want to have a new baby so close to when he is leaving on the elk hunt and during his busy time at work. Jason wants to have a baby in the spring and that is it. I am so frustrated because we don't' get pregnant easily enough to just pick what month we ant to have a baby. I feel like we have been trying for a few months now and it hasn't happened yet, so to stop now and then to start trying again next summer just doesn't make since and then it is that much longer away from us having baby #4. Jason and I can never discuss anything either without one of us getting mad at the other. I feel very strongly that we should keep trying and whatever happens is what is meant to be. At the same time though I want Jason to want to have this 4th baby and be excited about it and not be worried about some stupid elk hunt. He has the rest of his life to do this stuff. I feel like he is so selfish sometimes and it drives me crazy! I am just going to have to sit down and talk about this with him tonight so I can stop stressing over it!

Trying Again

Jason and I decided to start 'trying' back in June for baby #4. We didn't do the usual tracking and every other thing though. We thought we would just not prevent anything and see what happens. I was kind of keeping my fingers crossed that it wouldn't happen this month. If I got pregnant in June I would be due in March and I really didn't want to have Lucas and Baby #4 right on top of each other. I like for their birthdays to be somewhat spread out so we can really focus on each birthday! Well, we didn't get pregnant because I started on July 14th while we were on vacation. The month of July we decided to get a little more serious about trying. I personally was thinking to have a baby in May, but April really is more ideal because May is always so busy. We still didn't do every other day but we tried more than the month before. I ended up being almost 3 weeks late and I took a ton of pregnancy tests which all turned out negative. I finally started on September 3rd! Now with this whole thing getting messed up if I get pregnant in the month of September I will be due about mid June. I am not liking the fact of having a newborn at the start of summer, but now I am getting anxious so I am not going to be picky. We started trying on september 12th and tried every other day until the 28th. I took a test on October 5th and it was negative! I was really disappointed to see this on saturday night. I am going to take another test on this Friday and I am praying that it is positive. I just found out that my brother is getting married on July 5th and I would love to not be huge and pregnant at his wedding! I keep praying that whatever god's plan is will be the best for our family and I am trying to have faith in that. It is so hard when I am such a planner. I really do not like the whole 'trying' thing. It really takes the fun out of it. I will say that it has made me totally ready and sure to be pregnant again! I am actually looking forward to it! I have to really try and cherish this pregnancy because it could be my last. I would love to have 5 kids, but right now Jason is only on board for 4. I know if we have a girl this time their will be no convincing Jason for a fifth one. I do think if I have a boy again that Jason will eventually give in to a fifth one. I would just like to know that if I want a fifth baby that it will happen. I think I will die if I know that my fourth one would be my last. As badly as I have always wanted a girl I am loving my boys so much and I have so much fun with them! I really don't know what I would do with a girl! I just trust that whatever God gives us is what will be best for us! Either way we just hope for a safe and healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby!

Starting To Think About Baby P #4

Lately I haven't been able to help myself from thinking about Baby P #4. I know we won't start trying until at least July. This is because of me wanting to have the option for a V-Back. I am in such turmoil over when we really should start trying again. I don't want to wait too long and then it take us forever like it did with Jax, but I am also nervous of having three too close together. Ideally it would be nice if Jax and Baby # 4 could be 3 1/2 to 4 years apart in age. That would make Lucas and baby #4 21/2 to 3 years apart in age. I am just enjoying my boys so much right now and I am afraid that adding a fourth would make things so hard for me to enjoy each of their stages. I also want to be able to have plenty of time to enjoy every stage of Baby #4 since that one could be my last and their is more of a chance that it will be than that it won't be. I am kind of leaning towards trying this fall maybe no later than December for sure. I do think regardless we probably won't try to prevent anything starting in July and whatever happens happens. Lucas is at a hard stage right now. I think 1-2 is the hardest time and really 15-18 months is the worst! I really need to get through that with Lucas before going through my first trimester of morning sickness. It would also be nice to be in our house for a year before getting pregnant, just so we could be completely settled! I know one thing for sure also though and that is I have got to get my photobooks and blogs caught up before getting pregnant again. I am getting way too far behind!