10 Weeks

I am 10 weeks pregnant today! I weighed in at 135 lbs. today. I am beyond caring about my weight right now because I have been so sick lately that it makes no difference right now. There is no way I can have any sort of self control when I feel this bad. I am hoping in a few weeks I will feel better and can eat better. I have been walking for an hour twice a week so far and that has been good. I threw up last Thursday night a ton. This was the first time that I have actually gotten sick so far. I felt like I was going to pretty much since I first found out I was pregnant. My clothes all still fit fine. Some of my pants are a little tighter, but that is just from the bloating. I haven't started showing yet which is a good thing. The weather hasn't been horribly hot the last few weeks, but I am still ready for fall to get here. I know I will feel better when there is that fresh cool breeze blowing and no humidity. I was telling Travis last night that I think I am still in shock over being pregnant, because other than being sick all the time it just doesn't seem possible. I figured it probably won't totally set in until after we find out what we are having. I am already stressing about the delivery room. I know with Jax I was stretching it on how many people were allowed to be in the room. I had my Mom, Grandma, Alisann, Jamie and of course Jason. Becky couldn't be there and there is a good chance that she wouldn't be able to be there again. I would love for Mary to watch the boys and bring them up to the room like she did last time, but I also don't want to leave her out if Martha wants to be in the room. I hate to tell either of them they can't but there may not be enough room in the room. I think I am going to wait for us to call people again like we did with Jax. It worked out really nice not having a ton of people out in the waiting room that we felt like we had to let in right away. We were able to do everything we wanted as a family and be able to have some alone time before we got rushed with tons of visitors. I am sure I will have a scheduled induction like last time which will be so nice. Everything went so smoothly for us and I hope we are able to have things go that smoothly again. I am anxious for my doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks. I feel like then I can relax a little more knowing that everything is okay and I really hope that it is. I don't see how it couldn't be with as sick as I have felt this time. We are still no closer to agreeing on a boys name. I think we will go with Albert for a middle name, but we can't even remotely come up with a first name. Going by how sick I have felt I am pretty sure it is a boy. The only little hope that I have that it is a girl is how fast the heart rate was at my ultrasound. All that could change though when I go in for my next appointment.

9 Weeks

I am 9 weeks pregnant today! I weighed in at 134 today. I can not wait to start feeling better so I can start eating better. Right now I eat anything and everything that sounds good. I have no self control because so few things actually sound good to me right now. I did start walking again yesterday and I am a little sore today, but it is a good sore. I am really hoping to keep working out this time throughout my whole pregnancy. I did this with Christian and the weight came off so much easier. I still have not thrown up yet but I have felt awful almost the whole time since I have found out that I was pregnant. There have been a few days here and there that I have felt okay but then I worry that something is wrong. I hope I feel better soon. I am so irritable and moody because I feel so bad all the time. I crave random things all the time, but lately I have been wanting chicken fingers to eat and I have also been wanting sweets. The thought of cheap mexican food makes me want to puke and steak has not been sounding good lately which is odd. Jason and I did talk about some more boy names. We agreed we both like Davis okay and Miles is not totally out of the question. I really want to name the middle name after my Grandpa on my Mom's side so we are probably going to use Albert for the middle name. The name we are closest to right now though is Townes Albert Pickerill. It definitely has not been decided for sure because I am not crazy about the name Townes but I do like it with Albert and Pickerill. We are still thinking! I feel like all my symptoms point to a boy, but I can't help but have a feeling that it could be a girl. I think I think this because of how high the heart rate was at the ultra sound. I have been sleeping a lot lately also. I go to bed between 9:00 and 10:00 and I don't get up until 8:00 a lot of times and I have to take a nap almost everyday for at least a hour. I feel like my stomach is bloated, but I can still fit into all my regular clothes just fine. I hope this stays this way for awhile. I have finally almost got all my blogs all caught up. That has been such a chore since we got back from vacation. I have so many things I need and want to do but I have no energy or motivation to do it. I am hoping that once my second trimester starts I will feel good and full of energy to get everything done that I need to. We have a super busy Fall and I am so ready for it to be here. I do have to say that this week always makes me super nervous, because this is the week that the baby's heart stopped beating when I had the miscarriage. I know I will be super nervous all week and be over analyzing every little symptom that I have. I won't know anything until I go to the doctor in a few weeks. After that appointment I will be able to breathe easier and start telling more people. Then I hopefully will know also when I will get to do our gender reveal party. I have a feeling she will do it at 20 weeks so then we won't get to have our party until November 19th because of Jason being gone. I need to start taking pictures of myself this week. I am behind on this already. I don't think I have changed any though so I'm sure it's not a big deal.

Appointment With Nurse Practitioner & First Ultra Sound

This morning I had my first official appointment! I weighed in at 133 lbs. which isn't horrible considering how bad I have been eating lately. This is exactly what I weighed at my first appointment with Jax, so at least I am back to where I started. I met with the nurse practitioner first and went over just the routine paperwork of everything. Then she set me up with a quick ultra sound to find out my exact due date. I could not remember when my last period was and they were so irregular anyways. Going by my blood work and when I though we conceived (July 9th) she gave me a due date of April 1. When I met with the ultra sound tech she said I am 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant which puts me due March 28th. This is Travis' birthday! There was a student observing when she did the ultrasound, so she went in and explained a little more than they normally do. She said that I released an egg from my left ovary which was kind of interesting and she showed us how it looked different. I was nervous because I never could see a heartbeat on the screen so I finally asked if there was one and she was like 'oh my yes' and said she should have showed me that first. I don't think she realized that I had had a miscarriage before and that I was extra nervous. I got to hear the heartbeat which was great! The heart was beating 177 bpm which seems really high. With Jax his was only beating 127 bpm but I had the ultra sound when I was 6 weeks 5 days then, so I am guessing that can make a big difference. I am really anxious to see what it is next time. I will say I think that girls are supposed to be faster than boys so maybe this is a sign of a girl! I go back to the doctor on September 12 and I will meet with Dr. Leinenbach then and hopefully get to hear the heartbeat again. I am always so nervous for this appointment now. We aren't telling anyone else probably until after this appointment. Our close friends and immediate families know, but we are waiting to tell our extended families and most of our clients and co-workers. I am ready to start feeling good and get some energy back. I have felt so blah lately and I have no motivation for anything. I am ready for fall and cooler weather. Hopefully this all comes soon!

7 Weeks

I am 7 weeks pregnant today! I weighed myself earlier this week and I weighed 129 lbs. This was the first time that I saw the 120's on my scale in over a year. I was a little depressed knowing that it would be a while before I would see it again. I felt awful this past week. Pretty much from the time I woke up until I went to sleep I felt sick. I still haven't thrown up yet, but sometimes that makes you feel better. I do have to say I am a little worried because I didn't feel very sick last night and I don't feel very sick this morning still. I have been a little nervous this whole time because my boobs have not been sore at all and that is usually one of my first symptoms. I do know that before most of my symptoms never really started until I was between 6 and 8 weeks. I still don't know an exact due date so who knows on how far along I am. This is all based on when I think I conceived. I have been really tired lately also. I have been taking naps everyday when the boys take their naps and I have been in bed before 10 every night. Even though I have felt so sick, I feel like a bottomless pit at the same time. There is a fine line between not eating enough and eating too much. I have to eat all the time because when my stomach feels empty, I feel sick. This morning I ate 3 pancakes and I feel like I haven't eaten a thing. It is like I am a bottomless pit. Mom made me chicken divan last night and it was delicious. I have been craving that for a couple of weeks now! I have also been having really painful gas the last couple of days. I feel so bloated and disgusting! I am wanting to start getting excited and start planning more things, but I am nervous that it is too early and that we could still have a miscarriage. I don't want to get to worked up one way or the other right now. I am so ready to get past this first trimester. I need to get my energy back and I need to get my appetite under control along with these cravings. I go to the doctor on Thursday. I am hoping that they do an ultrasound to give me peace of mind one way or the other. Whenever I tell Jason that I am worried he totally brushes it off and tells me with total confidence that everything will be fine and that we are having a girl. I definitely don't think we are having a girl. I have too many symptoms that are the same as when I had the boys. I am going to say it is definitely a boy! I will post back on Thursday when I have news of my first appointment.

6 Weeks

I am 6 weeks pregnant today! I weighed in this morning at 131. I would love to only gain 20 lbs. this time, but I am sure that will be impossible. I have been feeling sick most of the day everyday all ready. It isn't totally unbearable, but it is enough to make me want to lay on the couch all day and not do anything. I am going through the whole nothing sounds good to eat or one minute one thing sounds good and the next minute it makes me want to puke. My boobs are not sore at all yet, which I think is kind of weird. Normally that is one of my first signs. I am very sensitive to any strong smells of any kind. If I smell something to potent it makes me want to gag even if it is a good smell. I am still in shock over finding out. I am having a hard time planning things right now. I am torn because i am nervous that I could still have a miscarriage and I don't want to get too excited and have too many plans set and then all that change, but I am worried that I don't have much time to plan so I feel like I need to start now. I guess there is not much to do until I find out the sex. That should be the end of October! We of course don't really care what we are having. We just want a healthy baby, but if we had to pick we would both probably pick a girl.

Results

Well, I got the results from my blood test this morning. The nurse said everything looked great! She asked if I already had my 7-8 week appointment set up and I told her that I didn't know how far along I was and that is why they did the blood test. SHe put me on hold to talk to the doctor and when she came back she set me up for two weeks from today. I go August the 18th at 8:30 a.m. she said they might go ahead and do an ultrasound then to see exactly my due date. I am guessing that I will be 6 weeks on Saturday, so I am going to go with that for now. I have been really tired lately. I have taken a nap everyday this week. I am still feeling nauseous. Luckily I haven't thrown up yet. I have already started having cravings. Yesterday afternoon I wanted a McDonald's cheeseburger and last night while I was at work I started craving A1 steak sauce. Luckily we had a steak left over in the fridge, so I had steak and broccoli with A1 sauce for dinner. I also had it again for lunch today. I am really craving my dad's meatloaf and my mom's chicken divan. I called Becky after my phone call and told her the news. SHe of course was happy and excited. She told me it would be hard but I would be fine. I am so nervous that I am never going to be able to leave the house again for the next two years! I tried to call jamie right after Becky, but we ended up playing phone tag a lot of the afternoon. I finally got to talk to her a little while ago and tell her. She was excited and said she had tears in her eyes. Jason told Travis last night when he was over and he of course was in shock and thought it was kind of funny. Jason still hasn't told his parents yet and I still haven't told my Dad, Martha, John, Mary, and The Babe. I don't like to make big announcements to be people so I will probably text John, tell Martha and Mary the next time I see them and let the babe figure it out. I will probably have mom tell dad. We are always awkward with that kind of stuff anyways. I have started to get some planning together. I am definitely going to have another gender reveal party. Alisann had an awesome idea of filling a pinata with either pink or blue. The problem is finding someone to fill the pinata for me that won't be at the party or that won't give it away. I will have to think on that for a little bit. I definitely want to do a fall theme for it, so that will be fun! If it is a boy I already have the nursery theme picked out. I will do trains. If it is a girl I have no clue what I will do in the nursery. Probably blues and green and polka dots and stripes. I have girl names picked out, but I have no clue for a boys name. I do like the name Hudson, but I haven't even told Jason that one so who knows. I am more concerned on Jax and Christian's sleeping arrangements than anything and what vehicle to get. I will need to get something by february for sure and I am so against having a van. I also don't want to drive a huge SUV. I love the Toyota Land cruisers, but I think those might be out of my price range since I don't want a car payment. I really need to get myself on a schedule and stick to it so I can get things done around here. I am going to do my weekly posts like last time so I will post a picture, weight, and an update on Saturday.

Figuring Things Out

I have spent the last couple of days trying to figure everything out. I am such a planner that this has really thrown me for a loop. I am thrilled to be having another baby, I just wish that it didn't require being pregnant for nine months. I just have such miserable pregnancies and I am not prepared to go through all of that so soon again. I am also so sad for Jax that he won't get to be the baby of the family for very long. I feel like I am going to miss out on so much of his baby stage because I will feel sick, tired, and overwhelmed all the time. No to mention that I will have so much to do to get ready for Baby #3. I am pretty sure that we conceived on July 9th, so going by that date I will be due on March 31st. That makes me 6 1/2 weeks right now. I am going to the doctor today for blood work to see more accurately when I am due. I think they will get the results back tomorrow on that. jason and I have been talking a lot about what we need to do in the next nine months to get ready and we have decided that it would be a pretty good idea to sell our boat. We are hardly ever able to use it any more and we definitely won't be using it next summer, so rather than it sit and depreciate more we figured that now would be a good time to sell it. I am going to have to get a new car come february or March and we can put the money towards that so we won't have much of a payment if any. We decided that we would continue to look for houses like we have been, but not to rush into anything right now and if we have to wait another year to buy a house then I would rather do that than rush into something that we aren't completely happy with. Besides I love this home and I can not imagine leaving now with all this change happening. I think we will put Christian in Jax's room and make Christian's room the nursery. I will need to get another tall dresser to match Christian's. The baby will be in our room in a bassinet for the first 3-4 months anyways. Jax can go in Christian's old toddler bed by then also. I guess I will need to come up with a sail boat/airplane theme for the boys' room. I love both of their rooms so much that I hate to move either of them, but I also don't want the next baby to not have a room with a cute theme. I don't want to start any of this until after the holidays this year. I want to enjoy the holidays as much as possible and get through Jaxson's first birthday without having to mess with baby stuff. Jason and I are waiting to tell many people until we know more about my due date. I did have to call my mom yesterday and tell her. I was freaking out too much about things and I needed her support and advice. I felt bad for how I told her. I just called her up and the first thing I said was 'Mom i took a pregnancy test and it came back positive, so I am pregnant'. Then I started to cry and she was super excited. Then I told her that I was just nervous about how the next nine months were going to go. She did make me feel a little bit better. I do really want to tell Jamie and Becky, but I do want to wait until I get the results from today back. I did go ahead and tell Kayce last night at work. I knew she would suspect something with me anyways and there was no way I was going to be able to make it through work without talking to her about it. I know no matter what we won't tell very many people until after the first trimester. I am still worried about a miscarriage since I have had one before. I am starting to already have cravings and of course I feel awful in the evening and I am always tired. I am craving some of my mom's chicken divan right now and anything else that is home cooked. I think that is because we just got back from vacation and all we did is eat out every night. I am going to try really hard to only gain 20-25 pounds this time. I am hoping that since I am a member at tri-state that will help. If I can get over there 4 times a week I will be doing good. I am going to really try and watch how much I eat and what I eat. I of course will only eat 1,000 calories a day after I have the baby to help loose the weight as soon as possible. I definitely want to have another gender reveal party and I am thinking it will be toward the end of October. I have decided to not buy any maternity clothes this time because I hate them. I am also going to try and not go too crazy buying tons of baby clothes. Now if this is a girl that of course will not be the case. We will be broke from buying so many cute girl things. I know everything will work out for the best and just fine, because it always does. I am just nervous not knowing what that all might be!

In Total Shock

Well, I have to say I am in total shock right now. I guess I should first back up a couple of months from my last post. I ended up starting my second period sometime in the beginning of May and I had my third period in the middle of June. I had figured it up to be that I should start my next period right before we left for vacation or right when we got down on vacation. We got back from vacation on Saturday night and here it is Monday and I still hadn't started. I started to get worried yesterday when I felt sick most of the day and it wasn't a normal sickness. It reminded me of how I feel when I am pregnant. Then today was not any better. I spent a lot of the day on the couch. I finally said something to Jason tonight at dinner. He thought that something didn't seem right with me yesterday and we both agreed that the night of Justin's 30th birthday party was too close of a call. We took Jax and Christian to sweet Ce-Ce's for ice cream and after that we stopped by CVS so I could take a test! Sure enough when I got home I took the test and their was two lines. One of the lines was faint, but it was definitely there. I came out of the bathroom and all I could do was shake my head yes at Jason and then I started crying. I wasn't crying because I don't want another baby. I was crying because this was just a lot to take in and I can't help but be sad for Jax. I feel like he won't get to be the baby for very long. I also am worried on how miserable I will be throughout this pregnancy. I feel like I am such a horrible person when I am pregnant, especially a horrible mom! I really wanted to enjoy Jaxson's first year with him and Christian and now I feel like I won't be able to because I feel like crap all the time. This also changes so many things for us in the future and we have a lot of things to think about and talk about. I really have no idea when my due date is I am guessing end of March or beginning of April. I called and told Alisann tonight after I was able to calm down some, but I don't think we are going to tell anyone else for awhile. I want to really let this process and be totally sure before we tell any one else. If possible I would like to wait another month to tell anyone, but I find that highly unlikely. I feel really overwhelmed right now and I don't even know where to begin on planning for the next 9 months! I do have to say that I would rather be surprised than have to go through trying month after month again!