36 Weeks

I am 36 weeks pregnant today! I will be considered full term next week! I weighed in this morning at 161 lbs. This is good, now if only the doctor's scale would match that. I go in today at 9:40 for my ultra sound and then I see my Doctor at 10:15. This is when she will check me. I have been feeling a lot of sharp pains down low and I can't really tell if it is Jax moving or if it is braxton hicks or the start of something more real. On Tuesday night I had this sharp pain right around my bladder and it lasted for quite awhile and the pain was so bad it litterlly made double over and have to hold on to something. I never had anything like this when I was pregnant with Christian. I have never had a kidney stone but I have had lots of really bad bladder infections and it felt like what I imagine a kidney stone to feel like. I had a dream the other night that I went into labor now and Jax came really fast. I had nothing prepared and nothing with me at the hospital and I didn't even know what day it was. When it hit me that I had my baby and nothing went even close to the way I envisioned it I freaked out. I think I am going to bring my camera and video camera with me in my car today. You never know what they might tell me at the doctor and to me the most important thing to have would be those things. I can do without my clothes and toiletries if I had too. I think I had this dream and am a little on edge because I was thinking about one of my blog friends, who actually happens to go to my same doctor and is best friends with my sister, and she ended up giving birth in the doctor's office and didn't have her cameras with her either. It is a great story! Plus a lot of people keep telling me that they think I am going to go early and they say your second one goes faster than your your first. All this info makes me a little nervous that I won't make it until the 12th. I really need to make it that far, any sooner is going to totally freak me out. I have to get through my clients at work or I will worry and stress about it all. I only have 6 days left that I am working and that id a big relief. It is getting harder and harder to be on my feet and keep up with my tight schedule. I finally got my Hacienda fix last weekend and it was so good. I had been craving that forever. I have been craving chocolate cookies a lot also. I stopped at Great Harvest Bread the other day and got some and they are so good! I am still wearing my regular jeans with my bella band. I wear my maternity pants some of the time but they just don't fit as good and they make me look huge. I hate maternity pants. I of course am wearing all maternity tops unless I have some regular shirts that are longer. My belly is huge! I am still able to wear all my rings which I love! I will probably take them off after Christmas though just to be on the safe side. I have pearl ring that I got for Christmas a few years back that is sized for my middle finger, so I might wear that instead. I am glad that I haven't swelled near as much as I did with Christian. My hands and feet get a little puffy when I am hot or working really hard, but other than that I am good!My goal this week is to have everything packed, all of our Christmas decorations put away, and the rest of our baby stuff gotten out and set up. It would be great if I could have all this done by Wednesday. Christian is getting really excited to meet his new brother. He talks about it all the time and is always trying to give Jax hugs. He always says how he wants to play with him and watch movies with him. He also tells me that after I have Jaxson then he can wrestle with me. He has been wanting us to wrestle forever and I haven't been able to since I have been pregnant. I hope he gives me a couple of weeks to recover first. Everyday I go back and forth between excitement and nervousness. I am not worried too much about the labor and delivery. I know it won't go exactly as I plan or like last time, but I do know I will get through it all and it is only temporary pain and discomfort. It's the recovery and the rest of my life that I am worried about. I know people have two kids all the time, but I am just a little worried about juggling everything and getting a schedule down. I also think about having to leave Christian while I am in the hospital and it makes me really sad. I know I will miss him so much. I will have to know at all times where he is and what he is doing. I also wonder how well he will deal with me being away from him for that long. He is used to having me everyday almost all day long with the exception of about 10 hours in a week. I am always here to tuck him in bed at night and I am always here in the mornings and when he gets up from his naps. Jaxson still moves like crazy. He is so strong! I do think he is running out of room in there. I can feel him everywhere all at once, so I know it is getting tight. Luckily we both only have 3 more weeks of this and then he will have more room and I will have more mobility. It is so hard to shave properly and I hate that. It is driving me crazy. It is hard to bend over or get up from sitting down. I feel so handicapped sometimes. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of sitting in the same spot at Christmas. Once I get in position I don't plan on moving for awhile. I am so excited for Christmas and I can't wait to see Christian's face. I am looking forward to seeing all of our family also. I can't believe we are so close now. These weeks keep flying by. Part of me feels like I have been pregnant forever and part of me feels like it has gone by kind of fast. I can't wait to have a glass of wine or drink a beer. I really want to have a margarita and game night sometime soon. The crazy thing is that I was looking at our schedule the next couple of months and we already have something going on every weekend after Jax is born until March. I am tentatively planning his Baptism for the 20th of February. That works good for us and the Godparents. I just need to clear it with our priest. If that doesn't work we will have to do March 6th, but Jason may be gone then. Otherwise we will have to wait until after lent and that would end up being May sometime and we have something almost every week end in May also. I know I am crazy to even be thinking about his Baptism before he is even born, but it is hard to work it into everyones busy schedules. I really hate that my sister Martha will be studying abroad through all of this. She leaves January 6th and won't be back until May. I am hoping this week goes by fast, but not too fast where I can't get everything finished.