35 Weeks

I am 35 weeks pregnant today! I weighed in this morning at 161. It looks like I am going to be slightly over what I wanted to be on my total weight gain. The chocolate frosted donuts I am eating right now are not helping things either! Now that my maternity pictures are over with I really don't care too much. I am eating exactly what I want when I want it, since there are very few things that bring me comfort or make me feel a little better. Good food is one of them! I got a mani and pedi on Saturday and that was great! It was much needed. I swear I have no time for myself anymore and it will only get worse in another month. Alisann posted my Maternity session up on her website and I love the pictures! I am hoping to get the CD today so I can do my Christmas cards. I ordered a ton of pictures and I have no idea where I am going to put them all in my house. The topless pose turned out better than I expected it too, but I have to sat I am a little embarrassed to look at it. Jason loves it though! Hopefully I will get the CD today so I can post them up on here. I am really glad that I waited an extra month to do the pictures. I think if I would have done it any sooner I would have looked more fat than pregnant. Alisann is so good at posing people. I think I actually look a lot smaller than I am and I was worried about the camera adding ten pounds. Believe me I am not bragging on myself. It is all my sister and her amazing talent. I have officially gotten everything washed and put away in Jaxson's room. So that is totally done and a big relief! The only thing I have left is to get the rest of the baby stuff set up around the house and get my house all deep cleaned. I am waiting until after Christmas before doing any of that though. I have no place to put anything with all of our Christmas stuff every where. The day after Christmas I am taking down all the decoration and putting them away and then the next day I will put all the baby stuff up. My goal is to have everything finished and ready to go except for deep cleaning my house by the 28th. I have started packing some of my bags for the hospital, but I am still waiting on some Lush products and my sephora order to all come in. I also have yet to find what I am going to wear while I am in the hospital. I want a gown and not a pants set and I can not find any that I like anywhere. I am going to get online and try and order something today hopefully. I also need a new robe and some slippers. Then I need to also get a going home outfit. I will probably wait until after Christmas to get this. Jason and I are hopefully going to get all our Christmas shopping finished today and I am hoping to get everything wrapped sometime this weekend. I can't believe that Christmas is next week already. I know this next week is going to go by fast. We have so much going on and so much to do and I am super busy at work to top it all off! I was just thinking the other day about how much more difficult this pregnancy has been from Christian's. I think some of it is having a three year old that takes a lot out of me and some of it has been the timing. I have to say I am pretty miserable. I am not someone that likes to complain. I usually try to suck it up when I am sick and move on. It drives Jason and I both crazy when someone is always complaining about not feeling good or something that is always wrong with them. When my clients come in and ask how I am doing I smile and say that I am doing fine, when really I want to rattle off about a million things that are wrong, but who really wants to hear about that. I swear I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER. Since I am not going around complaining to everyone in sight I am going to vent on here and say everything that is bothering me. When I was pregnant with Christian I would get heartburn if I ate pizza or something with a red sauce. The only time I would get it is at night also. I would take tums and be fine. This time I have heartburn from the moment I wale up until I go to bed and it is worst throughout the night. I have to take Zantac 150 twice a day (maximum dosage) Just to make it bearable and it still doesn't get rid of it completely. It doesn't matter if i eat anything or not and it doesn't matter what I eat It is awful. I feel sorry for those that have to deal with this all the time. I am fortunate to only get it the last half of my pregnancy. With Christian I remember towards the end not being able to move around very well and it taking forever to get ready and that being a chore. I remember even making the comment to my dad how it must be so hard for overweight people to get ready everyday, because I literally would be worn out from taking a shower and putting lotion on and then I still had to get dressed. This time it is even worse. I had a hard time getting myself ready before I got pregnant because I would be dealing with Christian and trying to put make up on and get dressed while he is getting in to everything and driving me crazy. Now that I am hugely pregnant it is even worse. It takes everything out of me to get ready and then I have to fight with Christian on top of it all. I wish so bad that I had another bathroom just for myself. In our next house this will be a must, especially if I end up being the only girl in this family. When I was pregnant with Christian I remember waking up between 1 and 3 in the morning almost every night and not being able to sleep very well once I woke up. Now when I wake up I usually don't go back to sleep, because about the time that I could doze off again here comes Christian ready to start the day. My whole body in general just aches more than it did when I was pregnant with Christian. When I was pregnant with Christian I remember feeling him move a lot and I remember him getting the hiccups almost every night. I could also feel different parts of him really well, but when he would kick it might have been a little uncomfortable at times, but for the most part it was fine. This time it is actually very painful and I can feel Jaxson so much more than I did with Christian. Jaxson will kick me so hard sometimes that it literally takes my breath away. I swear sometimes I feel like I can just grab his leg or foot and hold it. Another thing that is really uncomfortable is not being able to breathe. I feel like I am only getting about half of the oxygen that I need and no matter how hard I try I can't get enough. It is even worse when I lay down, but even when I stand I am short of breath. The last couple of days I have had bad headaches to go along with all this stuff. I am also always feeling exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed. I feel like I need a nice long vacation. just need a break from everything. My patience is so thin and I feel bad all the time for not being more understanding of the age Christian is at right now. I expect way too much out of him and when he doesn't live up to my expectations I come down way to hard on him. I feel so bad about this, but I just snap before I have a chance to stop myself. I feel like I am being a bad Mom to him and it's not fair to him. Everynight when I lay down to go to bed I sit and think about how I need to relax and have more patience and I tell myself that tomorrow I will do better. Then I always end up stressed and taking out on him. I have got to get it together soon. I am hoping this weekend I can get my life caught up and relax a little. Another thing that I noticed that was different this time is that I keep having really sharp pains down low. I think it is the way Jax pushes on my bladder, but it hurts really bad sometime. I am also so tired of having to pee constantly. I feel like with Christian I had more bladder control. I know I peed a little more than usual with him, but this time I have to go constantly. One last thing to tell you how out of it I have been. Yesterday when I went into work I had my car keys in my hand and was heading to my locker. I keep the lock for my locker on my car key chain. I stood in front of my locker holding the remote for my car in my hand trying to unlock my locker. I did this a couple of times and even thought to myself 'I wonder why it's not beeping'. Then my friend Beth realized what I was doing about the same time that I did and we both started cracking up! At that moment I knew that I had serious lost my mind. I have definitely reached my limit with being pregnant. Now I need to just try and survive the next few weeks and hope I get everything done that I need to with some sort of sanity left.